Insanity

Someone defined insanity as doing the same things over and over again expecting different results. If you were to watch me, you’d probably think that I am insane. Every day I wake up and expect that my work situation has changed. Every day I expect changes in the people that I encounter regularly. Every day I am somewhat disappointed because it seems like nothing has changed and everything and everybody are pretty much the same. But the greatest disappointment and frustration that I encounter is when I find that my personal situation hasn’t changed and neither have I.

I want to be a complete or whole person—a person that has the appropriate feelings for the situation that I’m in; a person that responds correctly to every situation; a person that deals honorably with every individual; a person that has a level head, an unwavering purpose, and an undivided focus. Every day I expect this of me and yet every morning, not long after I roll out of bed, I am once more disappointed. One might think that I live on the edge of insanity, but I don’t. And I don’t for a couple of reasons.

First of all, I am not alone in my struggles. The great Apostle Paul said, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do . . . I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out . . . what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.” (Romans 7:15, 18, 19) I suspect that this struggle is not limited to Paul or myself. It’s my guess that almost everyone engages in this conflict.

Secondly, I am not going over the edge because I find extreme comfort in what Paul says, “…that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6) Paul compares this process to that of a woman in labor. He says that there will be suffering, and there will be groaning, but it will be worth the wait and effort (Romans 8:18-39).

I believe that I will be changed. If I believed in myself, I’d be insane, but I believe in the One who has that power. “. . .to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” (Ephesians 3:20-21)