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I heard someone say the reason why a lot of Christians don’t live a more joyous, abundant, victorious, and exuberant life was because we don’t spend enough time with God and with other Christians. That statement made me cringe.
So many times other Christians make me angry, frustrated, exasperated, and stressed. I think that Jesus had experienced similar feelings when He walked with His twelve.
Often, being aware of God’s presence brings me anything but joy. A lot of times, when I am reminded that I am standing in His Presence (to name a few), I feel ashamed, guilty, irritated, and yes, even angry.
As I think about “Christian” joy, I am reminded of the one who cried out,
Do not cast me from Your Presence or take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to
me the joy of Your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
This passage of Scripture sounds like it comes from the New Testament, but it actually comes from the hand of David in Psalms 51:11-12. It seems that David had a taste of something that a lot of Christians have not yet experienced. Many of us acknowledge and affirm what Jesus has done for us, but it seems like this reality has yet to penetrate into our hearts.
Joy comes from really knowing who we are, who God is, and the mercy and the grace that overflows from Him. This also why David can declare,
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head
with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days
of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. (Psalms 23:5-6)
There are some people that I try to avoid. When I see them coming, I turn and head in the opposite direction, and hope that they didn’t see me. If I see them passing by my house as I’m heading towards my front door, I pause and wait until they are out of sight before I open the door to go out. If I am in the grocery store and see them, I will turn down the first aisle and hope that they didn’t see me. I let out a sigh of relief if I am unnoticed.
A lot of times I feel this way about myself. There are times when I wish that it were possible to get out of my body and walk away. There are times when I when I avoid looking in the mirror because I don’t want to look into the eyes of the one that would be looking back at me. The person in the mirror can see past the veneer and see into the soul of the person he’s looking at. In this way, I can see what God sees.
In times like these, I am thankful that I am not standing before God because I would not be able to look into His all-knowing eyes. I am also thankful for the Word of God because it is helping me practice standing in His Presence by fixing my eyes on His Word.
God’s Word tells me that He loves me so much that He demonstrated it at the expense of His very own Son (John 3:16, Romans 8:32). God’s Word tells me that while I was still immersed in my sins, Jesus died for me (Romans 5:6, 8). The Word of God asks the question, “Who or what can separate us from the love of God?” It also answers its own question by declaring, “Nothing and no one!” (Romans 8:35-38) Repeatedly the Word of God says that God is faithful (II Timothy 2:13); that it is impossible for God to lie (Hebrews 6:18); that if anyone is in Christ, he/she is a new creation (II Corinthians 5:17); and that God will complete the work that He began (Philippians 1:6). If that’s not enough, the Word of God reminds me that God is greater than the way I feel (I John 3:20).
I often stare at God’s Word and ask myself, “Do I wholeheartedly believe this?” I answer, “No, not yet” but I will continue to gaze at these gracious and precious words because I know that faith comes by hearing and hearing the Word of God (Romans 10:17). I am hoping that one day soon I will be able to lift my eyes from the pages of Scripture and look adoringly into the eyes of the One who loves me.
