Paul

If I had to live with the Apostle Paul, I think he’d drive me crazy.  My family’s going through some difficult times right now and I think if Paul was here, he’d say, “I have learned to be content in whatever state I’m in” (Philippians 4:11).

If Paul said that to me, I’d tell him to “Shut up!”  If his words came from anyone else, I’d fire off a series of missiles, “You arrogant, scripture spouting, ignorant, unsympathetic person!   You don’t understand.  That’s easy for you to say.”

But because Paul said it, I wouldn’t be able to say these words to him and it’s not because he’s an apostle.   It’s because I see all the difficulties in his life and all the trials he went through (which far exceeds mine) and he still says, “I’ve learned to be content.”  This doesn’t sit well with me because I know what’s going to come out of his mouth next is, “You can learn this too.”  And that’s something I don’t want to hear.

The interesting thing about this Scripture is that Christians remember another verse about a hundred times more that this one. And the irony is that this often quoted verse sits right beside this one.  Listen to what Paul says:

…I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

And the verse we remember:

I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. –Philippians 4:11-13

I don’t like stress.  I want to be comfortable.  And what I hear Paul saying is that you can’t have your cake and eat it too.  In other words, I can’t have everything I want.  However, Paul is giving me a choice.  He’s telling me that I can strive to obtain things to give me comfort and security in this life.  Or I can seek God’s presence in my life and He will be my security.  I think that’s what Paul is saying, when he says,

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. –Philippians 4:7

Maybe Paul would not be such a pain in the neck after all.

Hawaiian Vacation

When most people think of Hawaii, there are probably a multitude of pictures that come to mind, and if they were asked to describe it in a word, the word “Paradise” would probably head the list.  For me, it was where I was born and grew up, so my ideas of Hawaii are a little different from those who do not call Hawaii "home."  When we came back from our Hawaiian vacation last year, Katie asked if I went surfing while I was there followed by the question “Do you surf like you ice skate?”  Anyone who’s seen me on ice would probably confirm that it is a memorable experience. All I have to say is that ice skating keeps me on top of the situation.

Thankfully, most people asked me general questions like, “Did you have a good time?” and not questions like what did you do there?  I mean, can you imagine the reaction that I’d get if I told people that our family traveled almost 5,000 miles to play Skip-Bo and Scrabble without points?  I am a competitor and what’s the point of playing a game if we are not keeping score?  But this is how Mom played the game and this is what Mom wanted.  My purpose in going to Hawaii was to see Mom and to spend time with her.

While in Hawaii, I got to spend some time with another old friend.  A few days after we arrived, I got up early one morning and made my way into my Uncle’s kitchen.  No one was up yet, so it was very quiet. After turning on the lights, getting a cup of coffee, and sitting down at the kitchen table, I said, “Jesus, I’ve missed You!”  Even though we had been there for only a few days, it seemed like an eternity since I sat down with the LORD. 

I am not bragging about my relationship with Him.   I think that every Christian should have a close, regular, intimate time with the LORD; He should be the center of our lives.   In the same way that we seek Him in our individual lives, we should also seek Him as a community so that when we come together, His spirit flows out of our lives and connect us one to another.

LORD, open our eyes and help us to recognize our community—Your Body.  Help us to be joined together as Your Son asked (John 17:20-23). We ask your blessings in Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Self Loathing

Over the years I have been taken to task for my “self loathing” statements.  I can’t help it. That’s the way I feel.  When people try to encourage or counsel me to feel better about myself, it usually has the opposite effect.  That’s because I stand in a different place and I view myself differently than others.  Everyone else sees me from the outside. I see myself from the inside.

On the other hand, as much as I hate myself, I really don’t want to be anyone else.   It’s not because I think I’m better than everyone else.  On the contrary, there are a multitude of people to whom I look up to and try to imitate.  However, the reason why I don’t want to be anyone else is because I know God.  I am convinced that Jesus will protect me from every accusation against me whether they are true or not.  If Jesus does not defend me and if I had to defend myself, I don’t have a prayer.

I think this is what Paul is saying in II Timothy 1:12, when he says “I know whom I have believed and am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him for that day.”  This is why I am driven to Jesus to seek refuge.  So far I have found the safety, security, and consolation I need. I really feel good about this “place.”  If I didn’t find a sanctuary in Him, I wouldn’t know where else to go.