The Human Spirit

I love stories of the human spirit.  I love stories of the underdog who topple the top dog.  I love stories of people who struggle against incredible odds because they desire better lives.  I love stories of people whose ambition is to do more than what people and society expects of them.

Of equal interest to me are the responses of those who find success in their quest for nobler causes.   I am always curious about what or whom they give credit for their success.  Was it by luck or chance that the individual succeeded?  Was it by sheer coincidence?  Were the stars aligned properly?  Was it because of their inner strength or ability?  Did they call on some higher power?

This is why I was fascinated by Marcella’s great grandnephew’s interview.  Dr. Kent Brantley was in Liberia treating people who had contracted Ebola.  In the process of treating the people, he himself got the disease.  After he contracted the disease, he was flown back to the United States where he was treated with an experimental drug and was eventually healed.  In a press conference after he got better, he had this to say:

. . . as I lay in my bed in Liberia for the following 9 days getting sicker and weaker each day, I prayed that God would help me to be faithful even in my illness.

How many people pray this like this?  Every time I hear a prayer request, it’s for healing from an ailment, not for faithfulness.  But that wasn’t all Dr. Brantley prayed for.  Dr. Brantley continued:

And I prayed that in my life or in my death that He [God] would be glorified.

What kind of man is this?  What kind of prayer is this?  Who says things like this?  Who even thinks like this?

On second thought, I have heard a prayer like this and it should be a familiar prayer amongst Christians.  It comes from the lips of the One we call LORD.  In the garden before he was crucified, Jesus prayed to His Father:

All things are possible with You . . . If it’s possible, let this cup pass, never the less, Your Will be done.

Because Jesus prayed this prayer, it should not astonish us that His followers would have similar prayers.  Moreover, our mindset and behavior should not only conform to the One we profess to be “LORD,” but it should also be expected.  This is what compels the Apostle Paul to say:

Therefore, I urge you . . . in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.  Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  –Romans 12:1-2a

Denial

I have seen a several doctors because of my concerns about my failing memory.  During each visit I’ve mentioned that I am often confused and feel unsettled about my “mental” state.  On each occasion, I informed my doctors that I ignore my negative feelings and put my entire focus on what I have to do or accomplish.  What I was trying to tell them was don’t be concerned about my feelings but to focus on my memory issues.

However, at each visit the doctors were insistent about talking about my emotional state because, as they put it, “our emotions are tied into who we are.”  It wasn’t until Robin (who accompanied me) explained to them that I was fully aware of my feelings and acknowledged them, but made a conscious decision not to submit to them.  Only then did they begin to hear what I was saying.

Robin then told the doctors of an incident that happened earlier that illustrated the point.  Robin told the doctors that I had been working long, hard hours and that I was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted.  She told them that one day I had pulled into the parking lot of my job, sat there, and had a conversation with myself.  I felt like a boxer who had gone nine grueling rounds of a boxing match and the bell had rung for the tenth round.  I felt like I could throw in the towel and call it quits, or I could get up and get out of my corner to meet my opponent.  After a deep sigh, I turned off the engine to my car, grabbed my lunch box, and headed into the building.

After the doctors heard what Robin said, they felt better about continuing.  They obviously thought that I was in denial about my feelings.

On the contrary, I am very aware of my tiredness, frustrations, insecurities, fears, discomforts, pains, etc.  Every day I make decisions on how I am going to deal with them.  Every day I have to decide whether or not to let my emotions will rule me or not.  Every day I have to decide what I will give my attention to and what my goals and purpose is.  Once I make my decision for that day or event, I continually remind myself to fix my eyes on the decision that I made.  This is what I mean by ignoring my feelings.

I did not come up with this mindset by myself;  I learned it from someone else.  I have a good teacher whose whole life reminds me of the decision-making process.  I am continually reminded of the time when He made a huge decision.  I remember the agonizing conflict He went through.  I still hear Him say, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from Me . . .”

I get that.  It seems like that’s the prayer of my life.  There are so many things in life that I don’t want to deal with.  There are so many things that I want to walk away from.  There are so many situations that I would like to go away, but here’s the dagger that pierces my heart: My Counselor and Friend did not end His prayer with, “take this cup away from Me,” but ended with, “Yet not as I will, but as You will.”

His decision cost Him His life, but gave me mine.  Because Jesus made a decision for me, I have to continually decide who will rule over my life.  That’s why I can ignore my feelings.

Obedience

As my birthday or Father’s Day approached, my kids would always ask me, “What do you want?”  I would always answer, “Your obedience.”  To which they would reply, “That’s too hard!  Why don’t you ask for a tie, a tee shirt, or something easier?”

I used to laugh or smile at their response, until I realized that I had the same attitude I have towards authority.  My spirit groaned every time I heard God say, “Obey!” and my feelings did not reflect a good relationship between my Father and me.

Yet, upon further reflection, when I’ve told my kids to “obey me,” I didn’t picture myself as a king or a dictator demanding that my subjects jump or bow before my every wish.   When I told my kids that I wanted their obedience, I was pleading with them to “Listen to me!” or “Trust me!” because I was looking out for their welfare.

Today when God says, “Obey Me” I’m trying to change my mental image of God from an unreasonable tyrant to a Father who wants the very best for His kids.

But like my kids, I find it so very hard.  It’s so much easier to give a portion of what I possess than to give Him my whole heart. . .